Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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