What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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