erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You have to summon your inner elephant
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
