If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
well you can't waste a boner
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
