Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
