Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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