You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
