he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize