why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
