Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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