I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
