A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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