I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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