I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
