Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
