I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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