Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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