oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
