i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
