dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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