that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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