no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
