I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
