You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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