One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
