Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
