Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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