i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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