Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
