I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I pour the whiskey from now on
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
