i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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