for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
