youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
