They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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