the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
