I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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