Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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