i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize