"it" just moved
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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