with your own penis?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
