I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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