I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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