no. you can't hotbox the world.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
