Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
