If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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