Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
