This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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