If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
