Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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