I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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