im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
