Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No subtext here. People are naked.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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