if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
