rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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