thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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