Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
