i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
