Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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