Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize