On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
