i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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