Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
