those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize