***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
last night I used snow as a chaser
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